journaling- do it for you

It's no secret that I have unresolved traumas from my childhood that I am working through. I share this on my socials because I want you to know that if you have past traumas too, you are not alone. Let's be honest, making it out of childhood leaves us all with some things that linger, even if we had the greatest upbringing ever! Parenting is HARD, life is HARD, and even more so in today's hectic, modern world.

Since owning a van, spending more time outside and thinking forward to what lies ahead for us as a family, I see myself as a curator of my children's childhood. I want to look back when I'm old and know that I tried my hardest to make their upbringing amazing. I am under no illusions though; they won't grow up without traumas, they're unavoidable. I am not a perfect parent, nor do I want to be, but I do want to be authentic. I want my children to know that they are loved, that I work hard for them and that I took care of myself so that I can take better care of them.

This is why I journal.

Journaling is literally writing out what is in your brain. It doesn't have to look pretty, you don't have to spend hours doing it, but I truly believe that if you give it a go and you make it part of your daily habits, it will change your life.

Ironically, there have been times in my life that I have really NEEDED to write, but I haven't for one reason or another. I tell myself I haven't had time (and yet I spend time scrolling the gram...) or I don't feel like it (yes Hollie, that's the point). I'm making myself accountable now by telling you about it. I am sticking to this daily, I am promising myself that I will write at least once a day.

So what does journaling look like and why should I do it?

Firstly, it looks personal to you. It doesn't have to be in a beautiful notebook with a delicate pen, it can be post it notes, voice notes, typed notes on your phone's app or an email to yourself. Personally I love the feeling of writing in something pretty with a nice pen, but that's just my preference.

And the why- because negative thoughts turn into negative actions. If we stew on the things that hurt us, either in the present or in the past, those things will continue to weigh us down. Why do we choose to carry heavy bricks around, when we can put them down and feel free? This sounds simple; write down what's bothering you and let it go. Of course it isn't that simple, but I promise it's a start.

Lists

These are great way to stop forcing your brain to carry unnecessary things around.

- Write down a to-do list for today

- Write down five life admin tasks you want to achieve this week

- List three things that you WILL achieve this month

- Create a bucket list/action plan (manifest it, it will come true)

- List things that didn't quite work out today, improve on them tomorrow

- Gratitude lists

- Shopping lists

- Christmas lists

I could go on...

Prompts

When you start journaling it can feel clunky, the empty page is bright and looming and you probably have great expectations (you need to start small). Here are 10 prompts to get your mind flowing. Choose one a day and stick to it. Write the things that come to your head first, don't force yourself to fill the page.

1. Write down one goal to be achieved next month. Outline anything standing in the way of you achieving it.

2. If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would that be?

3. What is your favourite thing about yourself and why?

4. What is something you want to do, but haven't done? Why haven't you done it?

5. Where is your favourite place in the world, why do you love it?

6. What is something you want to change about your life? How will you change it?

7. Write down 10 abstract things that you're grateful for.

8. What is one experience in your life that has made you stronger?

9. Explain a fear that you have overcome.

10. What do you need, right now?

Journaling for children

I love journaling with my children, but it isn't something I will enforce. They see me writing, we make lists together and they love stationery as much as I do. They are 10 and 7 and probably have more note pads than I do, but that's not to say that journaling will be a daily practise for them, at least not yet. Sometimes we journal together out loud, which helps me find out what's on their minds, helps me to provide prompts for their journaling and often times, inspires them to unpick this later on their own. Rosie is particularly great at this. Again though, keep your expectations of this small and achievable.

Recently I bought the children a new notepad and pen each and left them on their desks with a prompt written inside. My plan is to have this going backwards and forwards between us, to keep lines of communication open as they grow. I hope that they always want to communicate with me, but I know that there will come a time when they don't want to be faced with my physical reactions to what they have to say. It is much easier to tell people things when you don't have to SEE their response.

Noah is just seven and writing isn't always his favourite thing, so sometimes he will draw instead. This is still journaling! It is a beautiful practise to do together too. Sometimes I will write them a prompt and they will answer, then they will write me one in return. The notebook goes backwards and forwards between us quickly. Sometimes much slower over the course of a few days.

Here are some prompts to use with/for your children:

1. Draw a picture of you. What do you look like on the inside? (You could write the words for them if they're too little to write yet).

2. What are your favourite things and why?

3. What makes you happy?

4. Draw the best thing that happened in your day.

5. What did you do today that was kind/helpful/creative/imaginative (fill in the right choice of word for your child).

6. If you could do ANYTHING right now, what would that be and why?

7. Make a list of five great things you've seen/heard/felt today.

8. If you could have any superpower, which one would you choose? What would you do with it?

9. What’s one goal or challenge you have for yourself this week? How will you accomplish it?

10. Close your eyes and listen to the world around you. What sounds do you hear? Write them down/draw them.

What is the aim of journaling?

Ultimately, the aim of journaling is freedom. Freeing yourself from things that weigh heavily on you, unburdening yourself of things that feel heavy. By writing regularly, you give yourself somebody to tell your inner most thoughts and feelings, the space to let go of what is hurting you on the inside. You wouldn't want your child or a loved one to be carrying things that are hurting them, so why would you want that for yourself? You may begin to see common thread running through the things that you are writing, something may begin to stand out that you really need to work through. You can then seek further help for that big thing. For me currently, it is forgiveness. So I am listening to podcasts specifically about forgiving and learning to let go of things in the past that have hurt me. I take notes from those podcasts and I will find sayings that will stick. Rather than overthinking things, I want to let go of them. Your journal is a safe place to do that.

I really hope that this is useful for you and feels like a manageable, gentle way to bring you some peace. This is just for you, you deserve it. And if you need someone to make you accountable, I'm here xx